just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
