how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
