She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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