Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
