Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
