**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
