So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
