you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
