ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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