sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
