I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
