How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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