He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
