I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
