Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
