Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
