so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
