well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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