I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
home. puking in laundry basket.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
