So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
