well most of my day revolves around power hour
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
