Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
