ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
