You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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