My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
