I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
