I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
