I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
