you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
