I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
