I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
