It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
