No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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