Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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