she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
