Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
