I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
