K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
