Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
