I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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