So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
