What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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