it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
