idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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