Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They took my balls.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
