Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
