we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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