belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
