I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
