When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
