omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
