Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
