Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
