is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
