She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
