Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
